Fallout continues

Nightmares for days now. Black thoughts abound. I am cracking under this pressure. I wish I could go back to my former life in which I was neither The Secret or The Outsider. I want to move to another country. It’s that bad.

The holiday gift, which I had been told repeatedly would be XXX, even though I protested that I did not need it and begged them to not feel the need to give me, and which I had then been told, “We have your XXX and we already gave the other kids their XXX so we want to give you your XXX.” arrived as an XX in actuality. I never wanted it. It does not matter. But that I was penalized by an X for having made my own holiday choices, is a mindfuck I do not deserve. I refuse to allow emotional warfare to exist in my life. My flight instinct is revving up, ready to go.

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One Comment on “Fallout continues”

  1. cheerio Says:

    Caramel … ?
    I’m worried there are no more posts after this …
    where are you?
    are you okay?

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