Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Fallout continues

January 19, 2009

Nightmares for days now. Black thoughts abound. I am cracking under this pressure. I wish I could go back to my former life in which I was neither The Secret or The Outsider. I want to move to another country. It’s that bad.

The holiday gift, which I had been told repeatedly would be XXX, even though I protested that I did not need it and begged them to not feel the need to give me, and which I had then been told, “We have your XXX and we already gave the other kids their XXX so we want to give you your XXX.” arrived as an XX in actuality. I never wanted it. It does not matter. But that I was penalized by an X for having made my own holiday choices, is a mindfuck I do not deserve. I refuse to allow emotional warfare to exist in my life. My flight instinct is revving up, ready to go.

New domain, same philosophical terrain

December 9, 2008

ist2_5760803-falling-boxesI had to move my blog to a new wordpress domain with a new user login and everything because the other day I got a google alert for my other blog – the one with my name all over it – and it pointed to a post on the anonymous blog. Hopefully this will not happen again. If it does I’ll have to move to another blog site. I dread that. I like the wordpress system. But this is supposed to be anonymous. And I think other people have google alerts set up for the other blog. So here I am. The other one got a lot of traffic. I hope those people find me. I liked them, whoever they were.

Caramel is my name because I am sweet but have melted completely down to a new Caramelicious me who somehow has thus far not been put permanently away. On the good days. And Galore because of my verbosity.